sometimes the best advice...

I saw this image earlier today shared somewhere on my Facebook.  When I looked at it first I was literally all about it - love squats, love veggies, die for having ruby reds and, being that I'm not a masochist, I clearly don't want boys being mean to me.

I don't know why, but suddenly it occurred to me how backward, insane, upside down, just overall ludicrous that final sentiment is - don't let boys be mean to me?  Pardon?

I'm not sure about the rest of you - or the author of this cute little piece of bullshit advice - but I have tried and I have failed miserably at controlling the actions of other people.  I can't do it.  One of my greatest lessons has been that you cannot control the actions of others, you can only control those of yourself.  You can endeavour to control your own emotions, too, but let's be frank and real and honest, that's a difficult task to fulfill as well.

This quote reminded me somehow of the whole #victimblaming psychosis permeating our news in the last year.  If I "let" a boy be mean to me, am I suddenly enabling my own misfortune?  Is it my fault once again that I am somehow a victim?  REALLY?  Even when someone is trying to reinforce that we can be strong - albeit super superficial (seriously - squats, veggies and lipstick?  This is honestly just about being goodlooking.) - does it really devolve to if I am made to be a victim - no matter great or small - it is something that I let happen?

And what if it's a girl who's mean to me?  Is that my fault too?  Why isn't there some life advice here for when shit bitties enter your life and make you feel like...well...shit.  Why?  Am I not to blame if some basic bitch makes me feel bad?  Maybe when it's a girl, and girls being equal, it's understood that we cannot control the actions of others.

Or wait, is it because I shouldn't care if a boy does something that should, (potentially) objectively speaking, upset me?  In which case - much like my criticism of Beyonce - why aren't my feelings evolved enough to be upset by a person who, (potentially) objectively speaking, should be able to upset me?

I don't know which one of these scenarios is the worst - that I am the master of my own despair; that it's man-hating (and p.s. I love boys!...sorry bullshit-advice author); or that my own emotional intellect is meant to be low if I am to be perceived as strong.

So sad - I really did like this pic and her ruby, ruby reds.