and then i was taught a rather important lesson
happy holidays!
i haven't written anything in ages now. there are a host of reasons for this laziness including school, work, drinking wine, going dancing, christmas shopping and watching holiday movies in bulk. i should be honest, though, that the main reason is that i just haven't known what to write about. now that 2013 is ending i, like most everybody, have been spending some time thinking about all the beautiful and all the bad, all the bogus stuff and the bonus stuff from the last twelve months.
there's a lot i could tell you because 2013 has been a big year. there were a lot of good moments, and some great moments, and some heartbreaking moments where no consoling words had the capacity to console.
amongst these many and varied moments, i met a fabulous woman. she was an impeccably dressed, perfectly-aged, 70-something year-old woman with hair that i could never call 'grey' - someone with this much class obviously has platinum blond locks. perfect makeup, jewellery that was understated but could probably cut a pretty penny off my line of credit - my first thought was that this was the woman i intend to age into. she was also a widow. her husband of 56 years had recently died.
so what do you talk about with a perfect stranger about whom the only thing you know is that she once had a husband? well...obviously, being that i am in love with love, i wanted to hear about her story.
she had met her husband when she was still in high school while living out around the bay. he was an engineer and had come from town for the summer and was boarding at her house. she was too classy to give me the details i wanted on this - i.e. it was obviously just like R Gos and Rachel McAdams in The Notebook - but by the time the summer was over they had fallen for each other. what's even better, she actually had to go live with her aunt in boston for a month meaning that summer was that much shorter. we're talking borderline love-at-first-sight here. i melt. i swoon for her past self. she's laughing at my hyperbolic reaction.
when he had to leave again, she was still in high school and so began a long distance love. they wrote letters and saw each other when he could come out to her little town. she eventually graduated and went on to nursing school in some other town. they wrote more letters. they visited when they could. at some point he proposed. she accepted. more letters. more visits. five years passed. apparently he eventually asks: "are you ever going to actually marry me?" i think at that point she was laughing when she told me she answered "yes, i think i can probably marry you now."
the whole thing was so understated. in my lovestruck daze of romanticization i asked did she still have the letters - fully expecting yes of course my god i've still got the letters! in reality, his were destroyed somehow. burned somehow. she didn't seem overly fussed about the letters and i'm thinking WHY?! weren't they super romantic? how can you not care!
they went on to be married, have children, have grandchildren, own a business, travel the world. she showed off the jewellery he bought for her twenty years before - a braided chain mail gold bracelet. she told me they would have been married 57 years in a week's time.
the last thing she told me before story time was over was about her granddaughter. the granddaughter was apparently in love with someone who lived across the country somewhere and had recently told her grandmother about it. she also told her that it wouldn't work out for that reason - distance and all that. my new friend told me point-blank how stupid this position was. nowadays we have all this new technology, we have planes, and if you love someone are you really just letting that slip by? is there even anything so important? why are young lovers today so fixated on being side-by-side? doesn't the heart stay faithful and true without being constantly in each other's eye line? i was on the verge of saying, yes well, distance IS very difficult - i somehow thought better of it.
she left after that, told me i should come visit sometime. i've yet to do so.
in a previous blog i wrote about a friend's grandma who believes our generation is full of people who cut and run on the people they love without looking back; who always believe the next great thing is just out there waiting. meeting this platinum blond fox reminded me of my friend's grandma. between the two of them, i just can't help think that desire to follow signs to the exit really has become too common. it's not just the easy that's worth keeping. it's not the instant gratification of millions of text messages nor is it the person who waxes romantic and poetic. sometimes the letters, the words, the pictures might not be the thing that is worth keeping. it might be a genuineness that is simply unassuming, kind, and good. it doesn't have to be dramatic and fast and wildfire. some things are worth keeping, and cultivating, and growing. these things just might last a lifetime. this was my favourite lesson of 2013.
i haven't written anything in ages now. there are a host of reasons for this laziness including school, work, drinking wine, going dancing, christmas shopping and watching holiday movies in bulk. i should be honest, though, that the main reason is that i just haven't known what to write about. now that 2013 is ending i, like most everybody, have been spending some time thinking about all the beautiful and all the bad, all the bogus stuff and the bonus stuff from the last twelve months.
there's a lot i could tell you because 2013 has been a big year. there were a lot of good moments, and some great moments, and some heartbreaking moments where no consoling words had the capacity to console.
amongst these many and varied moments, i met a fabulous woman. she was an impeccably dressed, perfectly-aged, 70-something year-old woman with hair that i could never call 'grey' - someone with this much class obviously has platinum blond locks. perfect makeup, jewellery that was understated but could probably cut a pretty penny off my line of credit - my first thought was that this was the woman i intend to age into. she was also a widow. her husband of 56 years had recently died.
so what do you talk about with a perfect stranger about whom the only thing you know is that she once had a husband? well...obviously, being that i am in love with love, i wanted to hear about her story.
she had met her husband when she was still in high school while living out around the bay. he was an engineer and had come from town for the summer and was boarding at her house. she was too classy to give me the details i wanted on this - i.e. it was obviously just like R Gos and Rachel McAdams in The Notebook - but by the time the summer was over they had fallen for each other. what's even better, she actually had to go live with her aunt in boston for a month meaning that summer was that much shorter. we're talking borderline love-at-first-sight here. i melt. i swoon for her past self. she's laughing at my hyperbolic reaction.
when he had to leave again, she was still in high school and so began a long distance love. they wrote letters and saw each other when he could come out to her little town. she eventually graduated and went on to nursing school in some other town. they wrote more letters. they visited when they could. at some point he proposed. she accepted. more letters. more visits. five years passed. apparently he eventually asks: "are you ever going to actually marry me?" i think at that point she was laughing when she told me she answered "yes, i think i can probably marry you now."
the whole thing was so understated. in my lovestruck daze of romanticization i asked did she still have the letters - fully expecting yes of course my god i've still got the letters! in reality, his were destroyed somehow. burned somehow. she didn't seem overly fussed about the letters and i'm thinking WHY?! weren't they super romantic? how can you not care!
they went on to be married, have children, have grandchildren, own a business, travel the world. she showed off the jewellery he bought for her twenty years before - a braided chain mail gold bracelet. she told me they would have been married 57 years in a week's time.
the last thing she told me before story time was over was about her granddaughter. the granddaughter was apparently in love with someone who lived across the country somewhere and had recently told her grandmother about it. she also told her that it wouldn't work out for that reason - distance and all that. my new friend told me point-blank how stupid this position was. nowadays we have all this new technology, we have planes, and if you love someone are you really just letting that slip by? is there even anything so important? why are young lovers today so fixated on being side-by-side? doesn't the heart stay faithful and true without being constantly in each other's eye line? i was on the verge of saying, yes well, distance IS very difficult - i somehow thought better of it.
she left after that, told me i should come visit sometime. i've yet to do so.
in a previous blog i wrote about a friend's grandma who believes our generation is full of people who cut and run on the people they love without looking back; who always believe the next great thing is just out there waiting. meeting this platinum blond fox reminded me of my friend's grandma. between the two of them, i just can't help think that desire to follow signs to the exit really has become too common. it's not just the easy that's worth keeping. it's not the instant gratification of millions of text messages nor is it the person who waxes romantic and poetic. sometimes the letters, the words, the pictures might not be the thing that is worth keeping. it might be a genuineness that is simply unassuming, kind, and good. it doesn't have to be dramatic and fast and wildfire. some things are worth keeping, and cultivating, and growing. these things just might last a lifetime. this was my favourite lesson of 2013.
posted by emily at 4:59 AM
2 Comments:
great wisdom ... you are bright and wise to capture it and share it so eloquently ... beautiful :-D
This is beautiful.
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